Hello, you! I've missed you. I've thought of you most everyday since the last time I posted a month ago. The truth is, I'm exhausted right now. And I'm going through some things that I can't share just yet, much as I would like to. Life has been hard for me lately but hard in a way that I'm grateful for. I know that I have something to learn and I've surrendered myself to the process of those lessons. I'm building like crazy, and also being torn down. (Who isn't?)
Jack, Pete and Rosie are all doing beautifully. It seems like everyone is rounding a corner. Rosie is finally realizing that Jack is pretty rad. Pete recently gave her a haircut with kitchen shears and despite the fact that the overall quality is somewhat 'hacked', we tell her every morning that she looks like Coco Chanel. Suddenly Jack started crawling. He is our little explorer. He crawls quicker than you can imagine giggling like mad all the way. The day after he started crawling, he learned to stand up. And now he seems to be testing out walking, finding his voice, learning to chew and clapping. Pete is on the verge of an exciting project and when I see him in his suit each day - no matter how tired I am - my heart cracks open with pride. He is something else. Jack loves it when me and Pete kiss. He loves the smacking sound. He smiles as wide as he can and giggles. And then we take turns kissing eachother and kissing Jack until we're all laughing. We're discovering all of the little joys of being a family (and beginning to adjust to very little sleep).
Leaving Jacky every day is hard, but we picked the right nanny. She is wonderful to Jack and it's clear that he loves her. We play all morning while I get ready for the office.
Look at this gorgeous guy. The other morning he woke up at 5:15 and I tried to snuggle him in bed with me to see if I could get him to nap until 6. He fell asleep in my arms and started giggling in his sleep.
Here are some things I've been thinking about lately:
- We're quite desperate to feel familiar with people, even strangers. It leads to a lot of interrupting. Its much more interesting to hear what people have to say than to interrupt them.
- A year ago after the Boston marathon I made a commitment to myself to do regular acts of kindness and to approach the world in a friendlier, less defensive way. It's hard to remember on a daily basis but I think I've come a long way. It's amazing the effect 'good morning' has. Among other things, it feels wonderful to help a stranger with directions, or to give a seat on the subway to a pregnant woman.
- I went to a renowned psychic; it was a strangely spiritual experience. Afterwards I had the sense that we are all on this planet for various reasons, learning lessons in various ways. I'm suddenly much less judgmental. (Also, two psychics have now told me that I was beheaded in a previous life for being a revolutionary. 'That makes sense', I said.)
- Science is just so darn cool.
- I've realized how to 'be the change we see in the world': to teach our children what matters and to give them the independence to make good choices.
- Please, dear readers. Do not hold your forks with your fists.
Hoppy Easter, ladies and gents. Bring your Grammy flowers and don't eat too much chocolate before noon.
I'll be back soon.